Few relationship dynamics are as misunderstood as jealousy is. Romanticized in literature, poetry and the media, most people don’t realize what jealousy really is about, how it relates to attachment, and also how important it is to take seriously within relationships.
What IS Jealousy Really About?
In my therapy practice, most commonly jealousy is presented as a problem in individuals who have noticed themselves feeling jealous in relation to their partner. The same individuals who feel insecure usually seek therapy to help them “get over it” and just learn to trust their partner more. They often feel ashamed of their feelings and their seemingly irrational and sometimes aggressive thoughts and behaviours, as well as significant distress by the mental images they have that are associated with their feelings of jealousy.
The partner of the person who is feeling jealous is typically happy that their partner has decided to seek therapy. Perhaps surprisingly, they often don’t realize how they themselves may have actually contributed t...read more…
Trust is not to be assumed, but is earned through consistent acts of caring, presence, kindness and dependability. If any of these ingredients are missing, insecurity will be the likely outcome. Jealousy arises when the conditions for insecurity are present, whether those conditions were pre-existing or were an outcome of dynamics in the current relationship. ~ Dr. Theresa Nicassio
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