Today on Facebook I read a beautiful post by David Wolfe. As I read it, I found that it moved me deeply….and then I realized that it could be taken even the tiniest bit further and deeper by simply changing the last few words in the last sentence ever so slightly, so that it would read as:

Not all scars show.
Not all wounds heal.
Not all illness can be seen.
Not all pain is obvious.
Remember this before passing judgment on yourself or another.

This very minor word modification opens up a world of difference. Whether we realize it or not, there is a reason for every thought, feeling and action that we do. This doesn’t condone the lesser of these, but merely acknowledges that they were not created in a vacuum. Many scars, wounds, illness and pain are not apparent—even those within our own experience. It is not possible to go through life without a great many of these touching our lives.

Fortunately, we have choice and the opportunity to create an environment for healing and transformation for ourselves and others. It is my belief that at the deepest core level, we all want to make a positive difference in the world, for ourselves and for others. In this effort, self-compassion is at least equally important as the compassion that we can offer to other people in our world. In fact, I think that it may actually be a necessary condition for the latter to even be possible.

Invitation for Reflection: As you reflect on these words and your own inner world of experiencing, notice if it is possible to connect with and acknowledge that most tender and vulnerable part of yourself. Can you imagine holding that little being within you with the same care you might allow a delicate bird to gently land on your open hand? Is is possible to notice yourself holding that little one and witnessing the unique and tender being that they are, without judging or shaming them for their imperfections?

Then, take a moment to notice the subtle changes in your body, your emotions and your thoughts as you do so. Is it possible to notice even the slightest change in your breath or softening in your brow as you do so? What changes do you notice happens to the tension in your shoulders and face as you do so, if any? Simply notice and enjoy this moment that you are allowing yourself to experience.

Dr. Theresa Nicassio PhD
Psychologist & Author, YUM