“SELF-LOVE, SELF-RESPECT, SELF-WORTH: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown (quote seen on Facebook as shared by Buddha Groove, initially shared by Mind Fuel Nest )
I love this quote.
There are many reasons why I love these words, especially the fact that they challenge the misconception that caring for ourselves and attending to our needs is in some way “bad” or taints us in some way. This belief unfortunately leads many to avoid seeking to have their needs met. Our needs are often shown to us by our dreams and desires for pleasure that harm no one. However, because seeking to meet one’s needs and desires is often seen as decadent or even shameful, the result too often is the undernourishment of the body, mind and soul. Ironically, it is when these needs are not met that the narcissistic form of “self-ishness” emerges. When individuals feel like victims, that is when the self-focused form of entitlement that harms others is born. Pretty crazy, I know.
I’d like to turn this unproductive way of thinking around! To do so is really quite simple. The key is learning to awaken and relish in the beauty and pleasures life has to offer. That’s right—it’s all about PLEASURE. Pleasure is good. Pleasure is simple. Pleasure is an experience we were born to seek and enjoy. Babies and young children get this. Unfortunately, as we get older and are inundated with unhealthy belief systems and practices, the art and ability to experience and fully relish in pleasure is too often lost. But it need not be lost forever—it is in us, we just may need to exercise our pleasure-seeking muscles through mindful practices and lessons from children and animals (like cats) who are unafraid of seeking and experiencing pleasure. Indeed, engaging in guilt-free pleasure in the form of “responsible hedonism” may in fact be one of the most life-nourishing practices that we can learn.
INVITATION FOR REFLECTION: As you think about this coming week, notice what happens inside of you when you imagine seeking and enjoying pleasure. What desires emerge in your mind? Notice how it feels to honour and encourage the imaginings of pleasure—actually seeking to have your desires met. Notice what thoughts and feelings show themselves that discourage you from these musings. If you like, invite yourself to experiment with manifesting some or all of these fantasies that harm no one, allowing your childlike wonder and joy to guide you. As you do so, notice what happens within you and what, if any, changes you notice in your thoughts, feelings and relationships. Most importantly, HAVE FUN!
Theresa Nicassio, PhD
Dr. Theresa Nicasssio (“The Inclusive Chef”) is a Vancouver-based Registered Psychologist (#1541) & author of YUM: plant-based recipes for a gluten-free diet. The book, promoting “inclusive cooking” and “responsible hedonism”, is filled with delicious recipes that are all free of gluten, sugar, dairy, eggs, potatoes, and all animal products. The recipes have also been designed to be mostly heart-healthy, anti-cancer & diabetic-friendly.
